Writing your own wedding vows might be really hard and many couples choose to omit this option because they simply don’t know what to write there. From the experience, vows exchange is the most intimate moment of the ceremony, where emotions are at its peak, and tears are shared. This is also the best way to customize your ceremony and make it really unique and special. Before you start working on your vows remember this, wedding vows are truly important as they symbolize the commitment and promises that you give each other will set the tone for your marriage.
Here is some simple guidance on how to start crafting your personal wedding vows:
- Discuss with your partner the tone and format of your vows. Do you want it to be humorous or poetic? How long? Do you want to write them separately and surprise each other at the ceremony or write together? We saw this couple of times when couples did not discuss the tone and format of the vows with each other and as a result, one partner had way too long and emotional vows and the other one kept it short and humorous.
- Now when you agree on the format you can start working on your writing. We always recommend writing your vows separately and at your own pace. Don’t expect to write the final draft at once, but instead, work in stages. Start from writing notes about your relationship, what did you like about your partner back then, what were your first thoughts at that moment. It is really great to show your partner how much your love grow over the years and how you both changed over time.
- Include a funny story. It is a perfect way to lighten up the tone and give your partner something to smile at.
- Write actual promises. Try to avoid clichés and words like “never” and “always”. But actually, say what you promise to your partner. It can be something serious like “I promise always be by your side” or something more down to earth as “I promise to remind you to put a sunblock when we go to the beach”.
- Say why you want to get married to your partner and mention the future. This is a good moment to show your partner the qualities that you see in them and set some goals for the future. Maybe you already talk about having children or moving to another country, it is worth mentioning it.
- When you finish writing the vows leave them for a week and then get back and correct them if needed.
- Read them out loud. It is a great technique to practice and make sure you like the way it sounds. Also, you can make mental notes on where to pause longer or change your tone. It shouldn’t sound monotonous, so better practice in advance.
- Write them down. You can send your drafts to a professional calligrapher to make them look more celebratory or write them yourself. But it is always a great memory to keep from your wedding, so have it in writing.
- Have a backup plan. Sometimes couples feel way too emotional at the wedding and don’t feel like reading the vows out loud in front of the family. In this case make a draft for your officiant, who can read it for you or include some parts of your vows into the ceremony.
- Have fun and enjoy every second of your special day.
We hope that this little guide gave you some ideas and now you can start working on your vows. Just remember to be you and celebrate your love and relationship. Don’t do or write something just because it had to be said or written, be unique and authentic, and design your ceremony the way you want.